I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
