im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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