So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
