she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
