she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
