i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
