I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
