i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
