I will die if light touches me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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