Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
