I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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