Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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