It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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