Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
