I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
