Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
