Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my shit smells like andre
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize