This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
