1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just google imaged poop.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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