after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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