The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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