Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
