Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
