how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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