Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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