oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
