they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
