His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
40s are totally the cure
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
