i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
