4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
