See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
