home. puking in laundry basket.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
