It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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