Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
pray to the hookup gods
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
