VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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