i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
