Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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