Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
