i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why do cheetos always look like penises
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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