Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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