You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
