my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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