so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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