At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
