In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
