why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
