so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
