Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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