Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
