Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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