My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tell her she can't have a vagina
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
is that a dick in a sweater?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
