so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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