SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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