this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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