just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
