i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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