North Korea, Best Korea!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
