Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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