Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
