I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
