First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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