Fuck appropriateness.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
