if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
