plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
