so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
