He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
